School and friendship

• How do you end homework battles?

  Most homework conflict isn't about the homework — it's about renegotiating when and how it starts, every single day. A fixed time, a fixed place and an age-appropriate block removes the bulk of it. The second issue is role: a parent's job isn't supplying the right answer but building the structure and making the sticking points visible to the teacher. A parent guaranteeing the work is correct prevents the teacher from seeing where a child actually is.

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• My child is being bullied. What should I do?

  Bullying and conflict are not the same thing: bullying involves a power imbalance, repetition and intent. The distinction matters because conflict can be resolved between children, while bullying requires adult intervention. The first step is listening without interrupting and keeping your reaction measured — an outsized display of anger is what stops children telling you again. Then: a concrete record (what, when, who), a dated written approach to the school, and follow-up. Telling a child to hit back doesn't work; what works is knowing they aren't alone and that adults are tracking it.

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• My child doesn't want to go to school. What should I do?

  School refusal has no single cause, and the right response depends on which one it is. Four headings separate it out: separation anxiety (leaving home is hard), social difficulty (no place in the class, or bullying), academic difficulty (they can't follow the lesson), and a physical cause. One rule holds across all four: the longer the avoidance runs, the harder the return, so the aim is attendance in some form rather than a perfect day. A graded return plan agreed with the school works measurably better than waiting at home.

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