Questions that open and questions that close
| Instead of | Ask | Why |
|---|---|---|
| What is it? | Can you tell me about this? | "What is it?" starts a hunt for the right answer, not an invitation to tell |
| Is that you? | Who's here? | Getting the child's own list beats confirming your guess |
| Why is it so dark? | What's happening in this part? | A question carrying judgement puts a child on the defensive |
| Why didn't you draw Mum? | Who else is here? | Pointing at what's missing makes the child feel accused |
| That's lovely! | What did you enjoy most while drawing it? | Praise closes a conversation; curiosity keeps it open |
Three practical rules
- Ask when the child wants to tell, not the moment the drawing is done. A story told under pressure stays short.
- Repeat what you heard: "so this person is waiting here?" Confirmation makes it easier for the child to go on.
- Don't interpret. "So you were sad" overrides what the child was telling you.
Common questions
What if my child doesn't want to talk about the drawing?
Don't push. "You can tell me later if you want" is enough. If talking about drawings becomes a compulsory activity, a child backs away from both the drawing and the telling.
Is saying "that's lovely" wrong?
Not wrong, but it ends the conversation. Praise is a closing line; a curious question opens room for the child to tell you more. You can use both — interest first, appreciation after.
What my child says doesn't match what I see. Which is right?
What the child says. A drawing is the trace of a story, not the story itself. The shape you see and the thing the child meant are often different, and the child's meaning is the correct one.