Year by year
| Age | Language | Play and social | Motor |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | 3-4 word sentences; strangers understand most of it | Side-by-side play shifts to shared play; brief turn-taking | Tricycle, draws a circle, manages buttons |
| 4 | Tells a story, asks why, uses past tense | Pretend play, imaginary friends, simple rules | Stands on one foot, cuts with scissors, draws a person |
| 5 | Long sentences, gets jokes, introduces themselves | Rule-based games, winning and losing, chooses friends | Skips, jumps rope, copies letters |
| 6 | Beginning to read, recounts events in order | Close friendships, argues about fairness and rules | Bike, ties laces, settled pencil grip |
How play changes is itself a measure
Play passes through three stages here: playing alongside (same room, separate games), playing together (same game, loose rules) and cooperative play (assigned roles, rules and a goal). That progression is the most visible indicator of social development and usually tracks language closely. If a five-year-old is still only playing alongside others, that's worth looking at.
Where drawing fits
Drawing follows the same calendar: around three, a scribble gets named after the fact; around four, the first recognisable human figure appears (usually a tadpole figure with no torso); at five and six, a body, hands and details are added. The number of details in a human figure is used as a rough indicator of cognitive maturity — not as a measure of personality.
When to ask someone
- At three, they aren't making sentences, or strangers can't understand most of their speech.
- At four, they can't follow a simple instruction and never take a role in play.
- At five, there's no interest in writing their name and no grasp of turn-taking or rules.
- At any age, they stop doing something they could previously do.
- There are persistent differences in eye contact, joint attention (pointing and looking) or responding to their name.
Common questions
Is my child behind their peers?
Milestones aren't an average, they're a 'most children do this by' threshold. Passing one a few months late is common. What matters is not one delay but several together, or progress stopping.
Should I teach early reading and writing?
There's no need to push. What best supports the move into reading before school isn't letter drills but reading together, rhymes and games that draw attention to sounds. If the interest comes from your child, following it is fine.
Does growing up bilingual delay language?
There's no evidence it causes a lasting delay. Vocabulary in bilingual children can look split across two languages, but total language capacity tracks comparably with peers. Mixing both languages in one sentence is expected at this age.
Is preschool essential?
Not essential, but regular contact with peers is valuable for social development and language. For a child at home, regular play groups, the park and repeated meet-ups with the same children serve a similar function.